12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
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