I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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