you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
