so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
