I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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