I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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