That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
