Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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