Just mADE A PArabola og urine
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
