and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
