Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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