Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
