i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
