Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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