Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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