So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
