So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
