The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
