I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
