Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I came so hard my ears popped.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
