The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
