I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
