I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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