i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
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