This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
