i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
