Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Sext me about skeletons
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
