I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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