I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I wish life had little blips of pornography
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
