If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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