This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
And then he peed in my hair
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