So drunk, too bad you don't want this
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
