life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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