HIV tests are more positive than that guy
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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