before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Green mimosas i think yes
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
