Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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