he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
