im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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