Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
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