Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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