I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
