the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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