So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
