Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
