he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
