I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize