All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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