and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
