well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
you had me at cake vodka
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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