Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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