I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
