But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
