Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
