Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
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